Sunday, June 25, 2017
JOURNEY OF A DEPRESSED MOTHER PART 2
I am 43kgs now. From 60kgs after I delivered my 2nd child.
It was December 2015 when I was admitted after we lost our 2nd child. At the night of December 1, nikalit lang sakit kaayo ako ulo pero ako lang gibaliwala because I thought headache lang to xa. But after 30mins, natinga nalang ko ky nag chill ko unya nag apas kos akong ginhawa, abi nako ug gikabuhi lang ko, I lied down unya naay gahilot sa ako kamot ky naluya naman ko then nangluspad..after 2 hours siguro niuli nami sa balay (naa mi sa grandstand ani panahuna nitabang ni mama ug pamaligya)
As we arrived home,lain gihapon ako lawas pero bintaha nalang, natog ko nagtakilid ky lain man ug maghayang. On the following day, naka mata ko ug sayo,ninaog ko sa ubos para muadto sa CR, I thought naulian nko pero wa pamn d i. Ma feel nako nga nanglihok ako mga ugat sa akong nawong, nagkurog ako lawas then ako ginhawa akong giapas. Mao na to I decided magpada ug hospital.
In the hospital, pag check sa ako BP it was 160/100..(diyosko,HB ko.😰). Scary kaayo. My doki told me basin post partum lang..since nag reklamo man ko bug at iginhawa, unya mura man ko mag kurog, they checked my thyroid..kalooy sa Ginoo NORMAL. Gikuhaan ko ug dugo ky gipa cardiac panel, didto nakita nga taas ko kaayo ug cholesterol ug tryglicerides, mao nang na HB ko.😔... I told my doki nga when I was preggy pa d gyud ko panington bisan unsaon...affected na d i kuno ko adto nga time since I was bearing a defective baby, ako nga mama naapektohan sad... So ingun ani ka scary kung ma buntis.😂
So they gave me medicines para mu os2 ako BP..nag inum ko ky kahadlok sa HB intawn but after 3 mos wa nako.mag take since na normal na sugod ako BP.
After ko na dischrage, gi set na gyud nako sa ako hunahuna nga di nako ug meat esp.pork,soda ug kana mga cake,pizza and etc. I started my plan to lose weight, first, wala nako mag eat ug meat..gamay nalang ana mga coke, wa nko anang cake and pizzas. It was very hard for me gyud ky kusog ko mukaon ug mga ingun ana.HAHA. (magpa free deliver paman gane)
Next, nag walking ko,since ako pores na block man ug toxins, lisod kaayo magpasingot,gamay ra gyud mugawas bisan taas nako ug gilakaw. Then ma feel nako nga naay nag dagan2 sa ako ulo, mura xa ug ugat nga na stress gane...the time nga maka feel ko ingun ana,mag hinay ko ug lakaw ky ako hunahuna simbako mubuto ako ugat..(mao naninga time nagsugod ako.anxiety)..
Naningkamot gyud ko bisan pa ug lisod unya hadlok, akong papa maoy tig pursigi nako mag walking (d pa nako keri ani nga time mag jogging ky musakit paman ako pus on)... Naay time musayo ko mata ky mag walking ko from camella to office unta (pero sa dampas ra gyud ko taman)..maayo nalang basta panington. Ing ka hapon after work ako gyud na i walking from dao to grandstand around 2.2 km..ing abot sa grandstand mag walking gihapon ko. Until niabot ang time nga normal na nako, maka jog nako ky kadaog naman ko sa ako lawas.. Nag cardio exercise nako, dili nako hangaton,wala nay mag dagan2 sa ako ulo then wa na gyud mubalik ako BP ug saka..pinaka taas na ang 120.
Aside sa exercise, nag take sad ko ug supplements,which is USANA, it really helps. (Wa ko mag market ha)..mas taas ako resitance kung mag take ko unya mas nindot ako sleep. Carrot juice every morning kadto bag o pa..nakatabang to nako, grabe ang fatigue basta HBman gud ka, ug mag take ko sa juice d kaayo sakit ako likod. And until now kana hot water with lemon every morning before you take anything,dako na ug tabang,pramis. Usa na sa makaniwang kay di ka mag crave ug food.
Akong anxiety attacks sauna mubisita nako mga 4-6 times a day..scary kaayo. Abi nako heart attack na, mag palpitate ko paspas kaayo, ako hunahuna "patay heart attack nani,mamatay nako,unsaon naman ako anak"..after pila ka minutes d man ko maunsa, magpahuway nalang ko, pero Im sweating,nag chill ko. If naa ko sa balay maghigda ko magtakilid then mag tambid ug unlan until makatog ko. Ing mata nasad makulbaan ko ky abi nako namatay nako..(ingun ana ko kaagi,grabe kaayo). Naay time mutukar xa sa office,ako buhaton mag hukdong ko sa ako table then mag recite ug "OUR FATHER", Im trying to act as normal ky muonsa palang ako.workmates basin ma.rattle sila.. Bisan unsaon nako ug pugong sa ako kaugalingong nga d na nako bation ang attacks, d gyud xa ma pugngan,mukalit ra xa. There was a timenga nagpadala gyud ko sa hospital ky paminaw nako taas ako dugo,then nag.palapitate nasad ko, pag abot nako didto they checked my BP,it was normal, they gave medicine nga pakalma,,..anxiety attacks raman d i to.HAHA. Paranoid kaayo ko..pagkakita nko sa doki adto tayma naulia man ko, nakaingun kos ako kaugalingon anxiety ra gyud ni. Niabot ko.sa time maglisod ko ug recognize sa reality ug naa sa ako hunahuna ra...ingun ana xa..makabuang.HAhA. Still thankful to GOD ky aware ko....lisod ug d ko aware murag something wrong na gyud ko ana.SiMbako.
Sa pagkakarun, Im okay na,not 100% but siguro naa nako sa.90%.
Ang important lang gyud is determination and consistency if you really want a healthy body, para nako naa naman ko anak, IT IS A NEED. And once makatilaw naka ug sakit, MUTAGAM gyud ka.
Diet and exercise are the reasons nganu nawala sad ako anxiety and depression since nag hinay2 naman ug kawala ang toxins sa ako system..plus HEALTHY MINDSET, this is very important. If you don't have this, ma stress ka kaayo.
Wa ko muingon ha nga I did this all perfectly, kung mahimu lang do your very best.
And ayaw kalimot sa PAG AMPO. GOD HEALS. Walay imposible sa GINOO.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
TODAY'S FEELINGS
Resentment shows you where you're living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.
Anger shoes that you are passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.
Anxiety shows that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present. that you are stuck in the past and living in the fear of the future.
Those highlighted words above are maybe the feelings I have right now.
Resentment?Slight. It is not about that I am not allowing the present to be as it is. Because what is happening in the present is the effect of what happened in the past. Kumbaga, my present is shape by my past. I had so many experiences in the past that really affects my present. I was hurt. Really hurt. Dili kaha ka masakitan kung mahinumduman nimu tanan nilang gibuhat nimu? Those hurtful words, those hurtful actions? Ingun sila, I should moved on. Yes, I tried, I really tried. In fact I am still on the healing process, BUT, they still they hurt me now. That is why I remembered the past. Nabanhaw ang feelings nga ako unta na gikalimtan. Moving on is a process, so don't tell that I should move on that easily. You were never on my shoes. Don't act like you know me from the tip of my hair to toe. I tried to forgive, but those people, they are always on my side pulling me down. Now, tell me how to move on easily when they are on you side always pulling you down?
Anger? Not so. I am angry in that moment but after hours it will subsides. I won't let anger eat my flesh.
Anxiety? Yes, anxiety. I have it now..I don't know why.. I'm on the process of overcoming this fear. Di lalim, so don't tell me again nga move on, sayon ra kaayo na iistorya but the time naa naka sa sitwasyon nga ingun ani, grabe lisoda. Ingun ana sad ko sauna muingon lang ko sa ako friends ug "move on" pero di man d i lalim..
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
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I am 43kgs now. From 60kgs after I delivered my 2nd child. It was December 2015 when I was admitted after we lost our 2nd child. At the...
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Coz, I never thought in my entire life that my second child would die in an instant. It was December 2014 when GOD gave me the blessing I...